tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60077852011-04-21T21:43:11.457-04:00...and the horse you rode in on.absurdist fiction from the archives of Baron Remmington Bigbellie Fatbasket III, esq.Fatbaskethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01432390150286768960noreply@blogger.comBlogger41100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007785.post-1132331498319465772005-11-18T11:30:00.000-05:002005-11-18T11:31:38.330-05:00I picture a DayWhen every copy of People and US and The Enquirer and their ilk remains unsold on the newsstandsWhen Regis and Kelly and the ladies of The View walk out to do their shows and face nothing but empty seatsWhen Paris Hilton wakes up and realizes that being a spoiled whore is a pretty empty way to exist and then stuffs her throat full of uncooked popcorn and microwaves her neckWhen allFatbaskethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01432390150286768960noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007785.post-1130171371524151952005-10-24T12:28:00.000-04:002005-10-24T12:55:31.876-04:00Down here in the Hatch...Up here on the mountain, down here in the hatch...the sun doesn't shine, the radio doesn't come in and it's only the fact that every couple of hours a new piece of spam is delivered to my mailbox which keeps me aware that at least the autonomic, machine part of the world is still functioning.This place feels more and more like some remote outpost where one guy, getting Fatbaskethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01432390150286768960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007785.post-1116786506845952512005-05-24T12:08:00.000-04:002005-05-25T19:41:19.683-04:00A Night at Desmond's (pt one)I was rousted out of a deep sleep that was littered with dreams of twelve-toed children shopping for snowshoes by Charles' bellowing from downstairs."Baron!" he shouted, "you'll want to see this."By this time in his employ, Charles certainly knew better than to interrupt my medicinal sleep for trivialities such as subpoenas, warrants, notices of evictions, contest Fatbaskethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01432390150286768960noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6007785.post-1116783055435204612005-05-23T13:30:00.000-04:002005-05-24T09:25:06.330-04:00ONCE THE TOADS COME OUTI was once told that you shouldn't ever bring a hallucinogenic toad to an absinthe party.Oh, how I should have listened.I had woken up that morning in a strange mood. I found myself running through my apartment screaming, "Tonight I must drink absinthe and suck frogs!"I ran to the back bedroom and called my assistant, Charles, and told him of my needs. "Charles!", I shoutedFatbaskethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01432390150286768960noreply@blogger.com0